3 Reviews from DC Shorts, they clearly listened to it with their laptop speakers:
Reviewer 1 Comments
Briefly describe the story (include protagonist → conflict → resolution.)
A computer engineer is shocked while working and experiences intense visual and auditory hallucinations.
What is the main reason you did or did not recommend this submission?
The
pacing is slow with a confusing and difficult to follow story line. The
rave/electronic music scene may speak to a very specific audience, but I
don't think the it is right for the DC audience.
Comment on exemplary elements in the submission.
The writer showed great creativity in creating a fictional world.
Comment on problem elements in the submission.
The storyline
is muddled and confusing, I was unable to discern any clear story arc.
The sound mix made it difficult to understand the actors. The actors
seemed unseasoned which took me out of the story. I feel the story could
have been made clear with tighter editing and less effects. For
example: I get that the main character was electrocuted in the beginning
of the film until I read the log line after watching. The effects were
unnecessary to that part of the story.
Why is this submission not appropriate for DC Shorts’ audience? What other audience(s) might the film appeal to?
The
story line was very hard to follow without a clear story arc. This film
might be better suited to an audience of electronic music lovers.
Reviewer 2 Comments
Briefly describe the story (include protagonist → conflict → resolution.)
A shock sends a computer nerd into a trip where being "cool" is the end all be all.
What is the main reason you did or did not recommend this submission?
There
was a disconnect with the story line or action of the story, that I
found frustrating and thus disconnected from the film. It felt as though
this film was all over the place and yet no wear.
Comment on exemplary elements in the submission.
If the point
was to create a feeling and logistics of confusion and drug-induced
tripping, then movie ambiance was achieve, as I felt just that from
watching this short.
Comment on problem elements in the submission.
The lack of character development and disjointed plot/dialogue.
Why is this submission not appropriate for DC Shorts’ audience? What other audience(s) might the film appeal to?
I
don't believe the DC Short audience would connect to this piece due to
the plot set-up and lack of character development. This film would
appeal to hippy, gamer crowd or foreign short film festival focus.
Reviewer 3 Comments
Briefly describe the story (include protagonist → conflict → resolution.)
A Young computer nerd finds himself in a house party, and
What is the main reason you did or did not recommend this submission?
The
soundtrack is too much and needed to ebb and flow the dialogue and the
story. It was very herkey jerky. Also not sure what really happened.
Comment on exemplary elements in the submission.
The graphics were spot on and many elements of the soundtrack where enjoyable.
Comment on problem elements in the submission.
Need to have
more focuse on what the protagenste journey is verse the very dazzling
graphics. The highs and lows didn't balance out.
Why is this submission not appropriate for DC Shorts’ audience? What other audience(s) might the film appeal to?
There
is some work to be done on this from tightening the script to balancing
out the soundtrack and it would be good for any audience.
Reviewer 1 Comments
Briefly describe the story (include protagonist → conflict → resolution.)
A computer engineer is shocked while working and experiences intense visual and auditory hallucinations.What is the main reason you did or did not recommend this submission?
The pacing is slow with a confusing and difficult to follow story line. The rave/electronic music scene may speak to a very specific audience, but I don't think the it is right for the DC audience.Comment on exemplary elements in the submission.
The writer showed great creativity in creating a fictional world.Comment on problem elements in the submission.
The storyline is muddled and confusing, I was unable to discern any clear story arc. The sound mix made it difficult to understand the actors. The actors seemed unseasoned which took me out of the story. I feel the story could have been made clear with tighter editing and less effects. For example: I get that the main character was electrocuted in the beginning of the film until I read the log line after watching. The effects were unnecessary to that part of the story.Why is this submission not appropriate for DC Shorts’ audience? What other audience(s) might the film appeal to?
The story line was very hard to follow without a clear story arc. This film might be better suited to an audience of electronic music lovers.